Inspiration

Because you think you never inspired me:
You inspired me to keep going when I had already given up.
You inspired me to wake up when I was hiding from the world.
You inspired me to fight when I had already been beaten down.
You inspired me to forgive myself when I didn't think HE would.
You inspired me to never settle, because "too many people were counting on me"
You inspired me to spend more time with my family.
You inspired me to never deny myself Chocolate ice cream.
You inspired me to accept nothing less than exactly what I wanted.
You inspired me to find happiness again.
You inspired me to read EVERYTHING that ever came in front of me.
You inspired me to clean up my house, when it was at the point of no return.
You inspired me to get in touch with my inner OCD.
You inspired me to get rid of all that baggage I was holding on to.
You made me trust again...
It's not everyday something inspires me, but everyday I was inspired by you.

As fate would have it

For years there has been one night that has always stood out in my mind. It was the night that changed the course of my tenure in college. Superficially enough, this night occured in a night club...my first club experience in Atlanta, GA. I have always remembered this night because it was the beginning of a very important relationship I had while in college. But what if all the time I had been hanging on to this moment, it was not because of what happened as a result of this evening, it was because of what didn't. To be more clear, what if the reason I've always remembered was not because of what began, but because of what never came to be. What if when he walked up and asked if I was with him, I would have said yes...

When fun is work...

I work in the entertainment industry. Don't know how that happened it just is what is. It's a very interesting place this lil world of entertainment, tricky if you know what I mean.

Point being, for the past two weeks straight, I've been out every night. Sometimes to just one party, sometimes to up to three and four a night. Most people wouldn't complain about partying, but when having fun is work...it's not that fun anymore. I work at parties, I husltle, connect and make potential business partners, client, etc in the middle of crowded clubs, with hip-hop blasting, and go-go girls dancing on top of bars. And when I'm not working there, I'm at somebody's red carpet for something or other, or seeing movies before they come out, doing quickie interviews with Russell Simmons, Diddy, and others so often that while they're talking I think to myself how I wish they'd just shut up...this is my job.

So now what am I supposed to do for fun? I don't want to go to a concert, or a party or anything like that on the weekend, that's not fun it's just work. So now what, what am I supposed to do now that fun is work and work isn't fun?

Dream on Dream Away

Many people have spent many years researching the subconcious. Trying to figure out what the images of your brain mean while you are sleeping. Recently I have been having lots of dreams. Nothing bad happens in my dreams, they are not scary or harmful, but having the dreams themselves wake me up in the middle of the night in a panic. I am more upset at having the dream than what's happening in the dream. To put it simply, I feel like I'm being haunted. Like someone is haunting me in my sleep, knowing that when I'm sleeping is the only time I would be vulnerable enough to be stupid enough to believe in them again. I'm being attacked every night by dreams that appear harmless, but I know that even the harmless of scenes have implications far beyond the actions. The only way to fight it is to stay awake, but I'm sleepy...any suggestions?

Ew

So I'm watching this interview with Aamer (VH1 VJ) and Mayor Nagin about New Orleans after the hurricane, and I know this is really shallow, but I hate it when men sit in chairs with their legs crossed, I think it's suspect...they're both sitting with their legs crossed. EW!