Ode to New York in December

It snowed yesterday. I didn't believe it until I looked out the window. There was snow on the ground, white, and sticky, there it was. Oh great, I thought resigning myself to the reality that this meant that stores would be closed, the laundromat would be inaccesible and my whole day would be ruined. As I turned on the TV to hear the weather report, I had a rude awakening. Wait a minute, I'm not in Atlanta anymore, there's no SEVERE WEATHER TEAM out reporting on the fact that a mere inch on snow had fallen. This is New York city. And nobody is even slightly phased that this powdery substance has dusted the city but maybe me, and my other friends that have just migrated from down south. I laughed at myself for having to come to this realization. I'm from Chicago, so I should know better, but for that split second that I looked out the window, I thought it was over, cause it had snowed. I miss the Atlanta ice hysteria, nothing better for a laugh than Atlanta and a forecast of freezing rain.

125th
"Let's go to Blockbuster!" Sounds like a plan, and so we headed to the Blockbuster on 125th so rent a movie or two, and upon trying to open the door were stopped short. It was locked. We checked the hours posted, it said it should be open. We then noticed the presence of about 10 police officers inside, and the big boarded up window to the right of the door. OK?? What's going on here? So we stood, looking inside, didn't look like anything was going on. The manager came to the door let some of the cops out...he saw us standing there didn't say anything. The fat man standing next to us with his DVD that needed to be returned said it best, "Awww hell nah, I gotta get a new movie, I'm tired of watching this same ol video, they gonna tell me something, the window was busted yestserday, it's a brand new day B, it's a brand new day." Aight then, Blockbuster on 125, i'm out.

Next stop. Starbucks. Magic Johnson has a Starbucks on 125th.
"Can I have the Chantico?"
"No."
"Ok, how about two hot chocolates?"
"Um, excuse me where's your change?" (She asks the other Starbucks employee who is sitting at a table watching freestyle DVDs with his homies).
"You're a supervisor, go get some and put it in there, it won't hurt you" (returns to watching the DVD)
"You only got five dollars in here"
"So."
(some more discussion occurs, ok i'll sit down, it's gonna be a while)
15 minutes later, I got my hot chocolate, it was good. And though i wasn't sure weather to be annoyed by the fact that everything in Harlem weather it be Loews, Starbucks, Blockbuster, or H&M, functions entirely different from their counterparts elsewhere in the city, I was satisfied, and I had sufficiently been amused. Oh 125th what would I would do without you?

Sweetest Thing

We shared music. A long time ago, we shared music, he was the 'sweetest thing to me,' and it was 'whatever's whatever,' and all that mattered was that we 'smiled today.'

Red star sounds was a great cd. And until five minutes ago, I had forgotten all about it. It was a jazzy compilation of a lot of artists that I really love. And a long time ago we shared the music together. And when I just listened to the words to 'sweetest thing,' I smiled about a feeling I couldn't genuinely recall any other way but through music. Whatever was there then has long since gone, but we shared the music, and as we all know, all things can live on through the music. Which got me thinking...

Why can I look back in smile when I hear the music, but not when I see his face? How can you live and breathe songs with someone and then eventually get to the point where you rather not hear the songs again because you don't want to remember the smiles. The song isn't a bad song just because you don't live the lyrics anymore, but somehow the song has betrayed you and so you cast it away to live with the rest of the one hit wonders of your life.

But we, we had albums. We had lines of songs. We were lyrics. "see my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone..."

But somewhere that turned in to, "Heard it all before..." and "I'll get out..." and "we can't be friends..." and I think I liked our first playlist better.

And though truly, I was 'DANGEROUSLY in love,' he was just the sweetest thing to me.

I really love this song. I wish it didn't hurt so much to listen to it. It makes me wish I could go back to that place where I truly felt it, sad when you realize you only get to be in love like that one time. It's such an amazingly intoxicating feeling.

"you're the morning, evening, sunrise after sleeping,"

Damn those were great lyrics. I've never been lost in a man like that before or since, but damn if it wasn't great when it was great.

"your the only one i want to be, sweetest thing that i've ever seen, sweetest thing to me," --we really killed what we had.

Now sometimes I think, it was truly all a dream. Either a dream or a lie, either way, it was something unreal. Percieved, imagined, created, but not real. It's not real for one person to be everybody's sweetest thing, but damn if it wasn't sweet when I thought he was mine.

So the thing is, I really like the Red Star Sounds cd, but I don't think I'll ever really be able to listen to it again. Not because I can't but there's some places, I suppose, no matter how great they were, you just don't ever quite want to go back to.

so many things to say

Austin says update my blog. Funny he should say that, I've actually written three posts that have never graced your eyes. I wrote on some things, and then feeling unsatisfied with myself decided not to post them. So instead of writing about one thing, i'll throw you guys a list of all of the things I could have written about since my last post.
1. My &^%$% @#$% co-worker.
2. The difference between coincidence and fate.
3. How to recover from a less than earth moving first conversation.
4. How much I hate text messenging.
5. How effed up it was that I was sick all thanksgiving break.
6. How dope my lil brother is on the saxaphone.
7. Why I would never move somewhere for a man I wasn't certain loved me.
8. Why Facebook is the devil.
9. My obsession with Making the Band 3.
10. The next apprentice is going to be a Black man.
11. People that throw pity parties for themselves.
12. Why both Austin and Danielle's lives could be lifetime movies.
13. If my life had to be categorized in to a film genre, it would be somewhere in between Dramtic Irony and Slapstic Comedy.
14. What it's like being a woman who plays in the big boy's league.
15. How sad I am that I didn't get to go to the Color Purple red carpet.
16. If there's a such thing as bad timing occuring multiple times.
17. How much I love the holiday season.

Ok Austin, you happy?